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Archive for the ‘Good Times’ Category

I’m not exaggerating here when I say that since June, things have been so tight financially around here its not even funny.  We were scraping by, getting the needs met and sometimes having a little extra for something nice.  Then over the summer, we got underwater when we helped some family out, and we haven’t been able to get our heads back above water ever since.  There’s nothing extra…nothing.  I haven’t been able to get my hair cut since the summer because the money just isn’t there.  Renting a movie and ordering a pizza once a month are pretty much the only extras we’ve been able to do.  My mounting medical costs are not helping matters at all either.  The hospital wants me to pay more money when I go now…no longer just the copay, but fees the “new” insurance plan doesn’t cover either.  The money just isn’t there.

Justin decided to round up our cows today (we only have a few), and is going to take them to the stockyard Monday to sell.  We’re that desperate for cash right now.  We would get $3-400 if we’re lucky for the lot.  Out of the blue, a young man shows up knocking on my door, wanting to buy Justin’s old truck that has been sitting in the yard for a couple years due to something electrical we can’t quite get figured out.  He offered $300 cash.  We wouldn’t be able to get that at the scrap yard.  SOLD.  I’m not sure yet if Justin is going to go ahead and sell the cows, or wait now, but either way…when we least expect it, God will provide.

I have to say, its a little bittersweet.  This is the truck Justin was driving when we met and started dating…I have many fond memories in that truck…my favorite date was to Vicksburg, to the Civil War Cemetery there, and it was such a wonderful day…”I love you” was said for the first time that day.  It may be 16 years old, but it was a good, solid little truck.  I can’t watch it leave…I’m sentimental that way.

God is Great.

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They said it’d happen on the weather news yesterday and last night.  I scoffed and scornfully said “Yeah, right, when Hell freezes over maybe.”

I woke up this morning, and Hell apparently hath frozen over.

It wasn’t daylight yet, and the flakes were so huge, it reminded me of living in upstate NY.  I’ve seen snow in MS, and even snow down here this far south, but never huge fluffy snowflakes like this.  This is…YANKEE snow.  I mean seriously!  Snow?  At this time of year?  In south MS?  No way!

Yesterday my kids went to school without jackets.  Today, they had to run through falling snow to get on the bus.  So far, school still isn’t canceled, but if this doesn’t let up, I imagine it could be.  What’s frightening is that people down here just don’t know how to drive in snow.  I do, but only because I lived in NY for a year.

I’ve taken dozens of pictures.  As soon as Justin gets home, I’ll upload some (he has the card reader in his laptop bag).  I figured, once the sun came up, it’d warm up and the snow would stop.  After all, the weather forecast predicts it’ll be 38 degrees by 8 am.  Well, its 7:55 am, and its colder now than it was when I got up…31 degrees.  The snow is now falling so thickly, that I can’t see my MIL’s house just up the road, and my satellite TV is out *sobs*

Its pretty though…the cats are freaking out a bit…but its pretty.  Too bad the ground is too warm for it to really stick.  Its melting shortly after falling unless it lands on a vehicle or leaves or bushes or something.

Snow…in December…amazing.  (its a southern thing, you wouldn’t understand lol)

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I’m missing church today.  I didn’t want to, but I suspected when I chose to go to the church’s annual Christmas auction last night, that I’d be overdoing it and miss church this morning.  We had a blast last night though…we were there about three hours, and had food and fellowship and just a lot of fun in general.  I even found a couple Christmas presents there :)

But today, yeah, I’m paying for it…migraine and major pains in my lower abdomen.  To be fair, I’d had issues with my abdomen all day yesterday…last night just seemed to aggravate it.

Justin had Brotherhood Breakfast this morning, so he and Jared were gone when I woke up.  I staggered into the living room to see what the girls were up to, and after settling comfortably into my recliner, I happened to notice that my wall was different.  Bekah found my Christmas card hanger back in the summer, and put it on the wall, where it stayed until this morning.  She loved it, and it didn’t hurt anything, so I left it up, and throughout the months she’d put different little things on/in it.  For instance, the most recent item of note was Bekah’s silk rose from Ruby’s funeral.

This morning I glanced up and the Christmas card hanger is gone.  In its place?  A blue frisbee that Bekah caught at the Christmas parade Friday night.  I commented on it, wondering WHY I have a blue frisbee hanging on my living room wall, and Bekah put her hand on her hip, looked me straight in the eyes, and in a very exasperated tone of voice, said “Mama, its a CHRISTMAS frisbee!!!”  She huffed off, as I, suitably chastised, wandered back to my bedroom to lie back down.  My migraine had just grown.

If you happen to see blue frisbees on walls anywhere during your holiday roamings, remember they’re CHRISTMAS frisbees, or you too could find yourself the recipient of a kindergardener’s ire

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Yeah, I’m doing ok today.  Sure I’ve been crying at the drop of a hat all day, but hey, I’m pregnant and hormonal and under more than the average amount of stress, wouldn’t you agree?

Still, pregnancy-wise, I’m feeling pretty good today.  I was sick earlier, but a phenergan took care of that and after waking up from the comatose state it puts me in when I’m sleep-deprived and have an empty stomach to boot, I felt good enough to eat a bowl of cereal with some fruit sliced in it, and now am feeling pretty darned normal actually.  No pain or anything (unless I try to get up lol).   I’m even breathing a LOT better so I’m guessing she’s dropped and may even be engaged, since the pain I have is when I try to walk.

So…today is a good day all in all.  I’m still sad, and I’m still praying, and I’m still hoping.  Not much will change there until the day she’s born and we see what happens.  Its hard to be “joyful” exactly, but I can definitely handle this feeling of peace and well-being that has settled around me this weekend.

Have a great Monday everyone

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I wish I had a picture to post of her, but I reloaded my laptop a couple weeks ago and haven’t put any pictures back on it yet.  I’ll try to get a quick snapshot of her with my laptop camera when she comes home from school :)

Its so hard to believe that six years ago today, I was recovering from a c-section and holding my little “elf girl” in my arms for the first time.  I called her that because of my children, she was the only one who was beginning to be born when she was delivered, and her head was all crinkly and ridged and funny shaped (I was used to the perfect, round, “c-section heads” of Jared and Katie lol), and her ears were pointed because of the way she’d been lying in the womb I guess.  By a couple months they’d rounded out, but for a little while I called her my little elf, my little fairy girl, etc.

Yesterday after her party at the park (just family) we were on the way home and Katie was asking her all types of questions out of a survey book, I think to see what her personality is or something like that, and when she said “Do you believe in magic?” Bekah said, with absolutely no hesitation and complete certainty, “Yep!”  To have the innocense and faith of a child would be a truly wonderful thing.

My baby is six years old today…and is taller than either of my older kids were at this age.  I suppose she’ll be as tall as I am by the time she’s 12, but that’s ok :)

Happy Birthday Bekah!!!!!!!!

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Yesterday was my anniversary.  I knew it was…I was thinking about it Saturday.  Then the low pressure came in from Hurricane/Tropical Storm/Tropical Depression Fay (little baby storm) and my migraine hit.  I was miserable Saturday night.  Truly.  I was awake when Justin and the kids left for church, but lying in bed holding my head between my hands, trying to keep my brain from oozing out of my ears and nose, and never said anything to him.  He didn’t even realize I was awake because I was dying a slow death being very. still.

I was finally able to drag myself to the recliner around 11, and when they came home from church, I heard him running up the steps and across the porch.  I’m wondering where the fire is.  He barges through the door, grabs my face in his hands (ouch as far as the still lingering migraine went) and shouted out “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!”  I smiled and covered nicely.  After all, until he’d said something, it never even occurred to me.  OOPS.  That’s a first.  I mean, I thought about it all day Saturday…figured I’d get up and cook beignets for him for breakfast, or maybe eggs benedict (his favorite) but then the migraine knocked all rational thought from my brain.  Maybe he won’t read this and realize I forgot.  Pregnancy hormones and gray hair are good excuses for forgetting your 8th wedding anniversary, right?  Especially since we’re really not an “old married couple”…after all, we’ve been together for over 8 years, yes, its true, but we still act like we’re on our honeymoon for the most part (get your minds out of the gutter).  By that I mean we just have so much fun together.

When we were in Nashville last week, we had all the doctors and nurses rolling with the way we teased each other back and forth.  It goes beyond love…when we’re not stressed out from the kids and the house and the vehicles and the cooking and the cleaning and…you get the idea…when we’re away from home, just him and me, even if its just to go to the grocery store together, we have a blast together.  We joke, we laugh, we tease, we flirt, we sneak a grab now and then (hey, we’re human lol)…but in general, we really LIKE each other.  This is saying a lot.  Its not easy living with a bipolar gal…especially an unmedicated, hormonal one.  Sure Justin has his flaws, but I know just how incredibly lucky I am to have him…he puts up with me.  He loves me.  He likes being around me (most of the time lol).  He’s a man confident in his faith in God and who he is, and doesn’t make any excuses for himself.  He loves Jared and Katie as if they were his own…he treats them as if they’re his own.  He’s a great father and provider.  Sure, money is tight, but there is money.  He holds a steady job, never has to worry about being fired because he has an awesome work ethic, and he puts his family before himself.

If he sounds grumpier than he is at times, or snaps at me after a stressful day, or gripes about the finances being tight, or gets frustrated because I’ve been home all day and forgot to prepare something for supper…well, he’s human.  But he’s one heck of a human, and he’s mine, and I love him.

So, happy late anniversary…sorry I forgot! *blush*

Also, Saturday was Carrie and Kris’ anniversary, and yesterday was also Christine and Frank’s anniversary, so send a Happy Anniversary wish their way too

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I’m sitting here on Wednesday evening writing this, and singing the song “God…is so good…He’s so good…to…me…”

Maybe you’ve heard it?

Tuesday I went back to my chiropractor for the first time since I started having seizures and had to quit work.  I’ve not been able to afford to go, what with not working.  My headaches have gotten much worse (I have them several days a week now rather than a couple times a month), my hips are KILLING me when I walk (I figured its a combination of the baby and getting older), and my back and neck hurt so bad at night I can’t get comfortable in bed.

Did lots of x-rays, and yep, my back and neck are a wreck.  One hip and shoulder are a few inches higher than the other (I thought I was standing straight too!).  Its all stuff that’s correctable with chiropractic care, but in the meantime, I’m miserable.  I told her that I can’t afford to come once a week, much less several times, so we needed to do the best therapy possible with the limited visits I could have.  My insurance gives me a $30 copay for each visit…painful!

I came back today for my first physical therapy (and first adjustment…OWWWW) and it was as painful and as exhausting as I expected.  I was there for 3 hours.  They were being very careful with me and the baby, and had modified some exercises so I can safely do them.  But, some of the exercises, while painful, felt so GOOD, I could feel things stretching out for the first time in ages.  Not to mention the massage I got from the massage therapist (and insurance covers the 15 minute massages on trigger points!!! YAY).  My doctor talked to me, and said that she was not going to charge me, and just accept whatever my insurance pays.  *faints*

I need to go 3 times a week for 4 weeks, and then twice a week for 8 weeks, then step down from there as I show improvement.  Just my copays alone would be $90 a week, which we don’t have.  And of course, insurance always leaves something that you end up having to pay extra on.  I almost started crying.  I told her I’d rather pay what I can when I can than accept charity, I don’t want them to lose money or anything, and she said that she was praying for us and the baby, was adding us to their prayer list at church, and that this was something she wanted to do for me, to make me feel physically better, and hopefully help emotionally too if I’m in less pain physically.

The only thing I had to pay for today was for the weights I have to wear 20 min a day here at home.  They weren’t terribly cheap but they weren’t terribly expensive either, and since I was already prepared to pay $30 today, the extra $10 wasn’t too bad.

So far…what I’ve really *needed*, God has provided without me even asking Him to.  I didn’t ask for His help or assistance with physical therapy (much less the chiropractic adjustments) but He gave it to me anyway.  I know many people don’t believe in chiropractic care (and really, there are some quacks out there that hurt more than help you, but mine is just wonderful and I’ve used her for 7 years now), but the physical therapy alone is something I definitely needed…I’ve been sendentary for months and really need the exercise, but every time I’ve tried to walk or anything, I’ve suffered for a day or two afterwards.  So, this is such a blessing for me, and one I didn’t think I *had* to have or even expected to have.  Its almost like a luxury compared to everything else.

I offered to pay her something each visit, whatever I could afford at the time, and continue paying afterwards to get caught up and she said no.  This is something she wants to do for us (she’s cared about us and our family as long as I’ve known her) and she asked me to let her do it.

I can’t believe the windows God is opening for us.  I have to have faith that things are only going to continue to happen for us, and we’ll get exactly what we need for ourselves and our baby, and maybe even some things we didn’t think we “needed” now and then.  God is so good.

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