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I’m lost

For months I’ve concentrated on Ruby.  I’ve worked my hardest to get the best treatment available for her, and focused solely on making it as long as I could with the pregnancy…getting her as far as I could.  Then I had to bury her, and get her headstone, and do thank you notes, and of course all these doctor appointments that seem neverending…

But with my blog…I’m lost.  I don’t know what to write anymore.  This blog started out as a form of therapy for me…a way to express myself when I was having a bad mood swing or needed an outlet…I really never expected anyone to read it outside a tight circle of close friends, and the way it took off during Ruby’s pregnancy astounded and amazed me.  The blog has grown, in many ways as Ruby grew, and as I’ve grown and changed.

Now I’m not sure what to do.  Its hard to go back to the carefree days of games and blogthings and such…and yet I don’t want to constantly vent about how I’m feeling since losing Ruby.

So…I’m lost.  Bear with me while I try to figure it all out.

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A while back, Daddy P did a blog post about Sage, a feed reader from Mozilla, the makers of that WONDERFUL internet browser Firefox. For those of you who haven’t been converted yet…I pity you. Seriously. Firefox is SO much better than Internet Explorer any day! I resisted the change myself for many many months, if not years, believe me. And then, one day…I saw the light. I’ve never looked back :)

Anyway, Sage is an add-on for Firefox, and enables you to look at feeds from various sites without all the clutter and junk. Now, I’m shooting myself in the foot here…my ads on my blog do provide a small income, and Sage eliminates those ads. But…its just the coolest thing regardless, so I’ll live with any reduced income as a result of this post lol (although, you could always click the link for my blog real quick in the sage feeder window if you were really feeling generous hee hee).

Now, way back when Daddy P posted about Sage, I tried it out. I was on my Dell laptop at the time. I was quickly hooked. Then, I won the new HP laptop, and I never got around to downloading and installing the Sage add-on. Friday, I remembered it, and decided to give it another go. I spent an hour or so adding all my favorite blogs, because I realized I hadn’t read many most of them in ages simply due to time constraints, illness, etc.  I can now quickly catch up on them.

But, because I was wondering the extent of what all it could do…I then checked to see if there were feeds for the many message boards I’m a member of…AND THERE WAS.  I quickly added them to the list, and when I checked them…just…wow.  I could, on one page, see ALL the newest posts and replies for that board (ok well one board took more than one page, but I digress).  HOW COOL!!!

Of course, now that I’ve said all this…I realize I have no excuse for not keeping up with my favorite blogs and boards and um, actually commenting instead of just reading…so if I start to slack off again, feel free to beat me about the head and shoulders with a wet noodle, or any other similar soft object ;)

*This is NOT a paid advertisement blog post sadly enough lol*

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Apparently, when I changed themes a few days ago, no one could comment but Christine.  Then Carrie could comment…and now I’m not even sure she can lol.  So I’m about to toss the whole thing into the bucket.  My head hurts, I overdid everything yesterday, and I don’t feel good.

You see, I woke up yesterday, and I felt better than I had in MONTHS.  I felt NORMAL.  So, I screwed up.  I overdid it.  First, I was stupid.  I drove.  Yep.  It felt danged good too.  I drove to Jared’s school and picked him up because they called and he had a fever too high for him to stay (turns out his allergies were kicking in…he’s had a bad cough for days that we’ve been treating).  I took him to Sonic for breakfast, then *cough blush* drove him to Mom’s (about 35 minutes away) and she drove us on up to Hattiesburg for doctor’s appointments.  He got an antibiotic to help get this out of his chest, and Mom got scheduled for surgery (next week).  I felt great, and was literally bouncing around from one thing to the next, and then suddenly…crash…hard.  Mom and Jared spent the rest of the afternoon worried sick about me.  I even had to leave my van at Mom’s and let her drive me home (she was coming to spend the week with us anyway).  Yeah, way to ruin the best day I’ve had in months…way to go Kandy.  Jared did do most of the driving on the backroads…I let him drive every time we got on a backroad…we’re letting him practice every chance we get…he’s getting more confident and doing better and better.

ANYWAY.  I tried to make some changes to the blog, so try to leave a comment, and if you can’t please email me to let me know (those of you who’ve been trying, you know how).  Then of course there’s always the redneck chat 😉  You have to register to use it (that’s to keep the freaks out) but that’s a good way to let me know you can’t leave a comment too.

Thanks guys.

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