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Archive for June, 2007

The title says it all. The procedure was not a rousing success, certainly not what I’d hoped. I’m still in a lot of pain abdominally, and now I can add back pain to the list. I also woke up with a migraine this morning…I think because once I get comfortable, I don’t move again until I wake up due to the back and abdominal pain…and I think I slept wrong and got my neck out of whack. I’d go to the chiropractor, but well, I wouldn’t be able to stand her touching my back. I’m screwed I guess.

Maybe it will gradually improve (the abdominal pain). My impression was that it would pretty much be instantaneous. I could be wrong.

On another note, I’ve been off work since Monday night. Tuesday was my scheduled day off, and I had Wednesday, yesterday, and today off due to this procedure. I’m supposed to go in and open tomorrow. I will definitely go in, but may have to sit down a lot, and they can kiss it if they say anything. When I’m there, I’m ALWAYS cleaning something, staying busy, doing whatever needs doing. I have a legitimate excuse to sit on my ass this time, and by golly they better not give me grief.

I am worried about work anyway…CSM was supposed to be announced this week, and I’ve been off since it closed. I hope I haven’t shot myself in the foot. If I have, oh well, it really couldn’t be helped, now could it? My manager told me to my face last week when we were fixing my schedule for this week that I was still her choice. So we shall see what we shall see.

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Well its over…

the “surgery” that is. They used large needles (can’t remember if I explained this or not) to anesthetize the nerves in the neural clusters on each side of my abdomen. Dr. Jolly isn’t sure if it will help my spasms at all, although he’s hopeful. The procedure itself went very quickly…about 30 minutes. I remember going into the procedure room, and I vaguely remember getting up on the table and laying down. Then la la land took over. When I woke up, and was aware that I was awake, Justin was next to my bed in the recovery room and was just so sweet and attentive. I think I’ll keep him.

I’m wiped out…between not sleeping a wink last night (I got up and showered at 2:30 because I was still wide awake, and then played WoW until time for us to leave) and the drugs, I have no energy. He said if the block worked, I’ll have diarrhea for a day or two, and will also have some low blood pressure issues. I’m very unsteady on my feet, but I’m ok.

So far I can’t really tell a difference in my abdomen, but my back is KILLING me. It feels like I pulled several muscles, or someone punched me on each side of my spine. I’m sure by tomorrow that will be better.

So anyway, here’s hoping and praying 🙂

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yeah yeah I’m corny. Seriously though, the pool rocks 🙂 ALL day I’ve wanted to go out and jump in, but Justin did all the work, and I didn’t want to get in without him first. He walked through the door at 4:45 and said “What, you’re not in the pool?” So we changed and out we went.

Its really nice, a lot bigger than we thought it’d be, and came with an included volleyball game. The net mounts on poles on each side, and the kids are going to LOVE it. They have NO IDEA that we got a pool, much less got it put up. Justin built a 19′ square frame and filled it with sand, making sure it was levelled, and the whole set-up is just really nice.

And yes, we ended up skinny dipping in broad daylight. I was stunned that Justin was so risque, but hey, I rolled with it 😉

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Once again our phone line is having trouble. I can’t connect faster than 24k, which means I can’t play WoW. I just called the phone company, and sure enough, there’s still trouble on the line. Every time lightning gets our line, they come out and fix it, and we have to call them back a day or two (or more) later and say “Guess what, its still not working properly.” So now they say it’ll be Thursday at the latest before its fixed. Joy.

I CAN play on the satellite, but its very laggy and difficult to do. I wanted to get Shelyna to level 52 dangit LOL. Oh well. I’ll live. I suppose I could take my laptop with me in the morning and play at Ochsner on their free hi-speed wireless while I wait for my “surgery.” We’ll see what happens.

I would literally kill for DSL.

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would you got to Heaven or to Hell?

I’m reading “Left Behind” for the first time. I’m only 12 years behind the times there. Still, I’m about halfway through it and its very difficult to put it down. It reads a lot like John Grisham.

It scares the crap out of me.

God blessed me last year. He saved my life and gave me…not a second chance…but my umpteenth chance. I really started trying to turn my life around. I love God, I’ve accepted Jesus as my personal savior…I believe he was born of a virgin, walked in sinless perfection for 33 years on this earth, was persecuted and executed, and laid to rest in a tomb, only to rise from the dead in 3 days. I know that he died for our sins, and I’ve accepted this.

If the Rapture happened tomorrow…would I be taken? Or would I be left behind? I don’t want to be left behind…but I’m not secure in my faith.

Please pray for me.

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to kiss me once in a while??? To REALLY kiss me?? Sheesh.

I come home from work tonight, bone weary and very sore from many, MANY severe muscle spasms in my abdomen this evening. Justin was waiting up for me, or trying to (he passed out in the recliner). I went into the bedroom to change, and he came in and hugged me…REALLY hugged me. It was wonderful. He held me for several minutes, or so it felt…then pulled away, and pecked me on the lips, and walked away.

Um. Dude. A wonderful, incredibly comforting and romantic hug like that, and you end it with a PECK ON THE LIPS???? I’m not saying go tonsil-diving or anything, but COME ON. A lingering kiss isn’t asking too much, is it?

We never kiss anymore, and it breaks my heart. A peck on the lips isn’t kissing, its an absent-minded swipe at affection that may or may not still be going strong. Its what old married couples do, especially when they’ve had a few loveless years lately. I don’t want to put my marriage into that category.

Would it kill him to sweep me off my feet once in a while? Probably no more than it’d kill me to get up early and cook breakfast for him again like I used to before going back to work. Dangit. I had to go and think rationally, didn’t I? *sigh*

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I don’t know…I just haven’t felt like keeping up with this lately. I’m so tired…hurting so much…and I honestly feel like I’m having a lot of trouble “keeping it all together.”

Someone at work complained to management about something I supposedly did…and I didn’t do it, but I kinda did…that doesn’t make sense does it? Its against policy to make scheduling changes/arrangements with other associates off the clock…someone came in, we were talking, I mentioned I was having this procedure done next week and was worried about who would work my shifts, she said she was coming back, and I jokingly said “Oh well then you can cover it!” and she laughed and said sure, as soon as she came back she’d see what she could do. That was it. It turned into a story that I called her…and I don’t even have her phone number!

My chest hurts so badly…its all from the abdominal troubles…please God, please let this procedure give me some relief. I’m afraid to get my hopes up about it.

I don’t know now what’s going to happen with CSM…it seems like the past two days I’m being complained about a lot. I know I aggravate some folks…I get manic and talk too much. I try so hard to help, that I end up irritating rather than assisting. I get that. I try to control it, but its getting harder.

Oh well. Screw it. I’ll just keep on keeping on, and try to hold it all together. I think I know where some of my meds are…I think I may not be completely out after all. It’ll take a couple weeks to start seeing any benefits, but at least it’d be a start.

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